This past spring I was getting ready to prune the fruit trees in our back yard.  Last year I noticed a large branch of one apricot tree never produced even a leaf and that the year before had been sparse as well.  I was ready to cut off this sizable branch but then got busy with a few office projects.  When I came back a few weeks later that “dead” branch had leaf buds all over and this year produced fruit again.  I still don’t understand what happened, but it seems my assessment of the situation was quite mistaken.  Beyond what I was able to see there was life going on below the surface.  I’m a psychologist, not horticulturist, so I’m sure someone more experienced might have seen signs of the transformation that was yet to come.  It makes me think of how often relationships or parts of relationships are cut off when expectations are not met and there are no visible signs of “fruit” that are obvious.  Couples get mad and afraid they won’t have connection and say and do all kinds of cutting things that damage or end a relationship.  Yet, underneath it all, a transformation is already on the way if only I don’t become impatient and chop off the potential.  This happens a lot in couples counseling where often one or both are sure that the relationship is dead, but I see the signs of life carefully guarded under the surface.  But it’s hard for couples to be patient and give the person and relationship what it needs to spring back to life and bear fruit again.  Yes, some relationships or parts of our life do need pruning when they show themselves to be consistently problematic.  But, how often is part of the problem our own impatience and not the problem in someone else we believe is unchangeable?   Sometimes the best thing to do is get out of the way and wait.  Just some “fruit” for thought.