Couples, especially those in the midst of the lovey-dovey phase, tend to believe that marriage is an endless parade of happy days. But anyone who has been married long enough knows that staying committed takes and investment of time and effort to reap the benefits. In fact, there are days when you may not be able to stand your spouse, and everything he or she does just ticks you off. “Is it really that hard to place your mug in the sink?” you may have each said at one point.

Of course, ups and downs are normal in any marriage. It’s just what happens when two people with different beliefs, backgrounds, and personalities cohabitate. There are times, however, that fights become a little bit too much. When any of the scenarios listed below happen to you, it may be time to seek marriage counseling with a psychologist in Orange County.

You’ve Stopped Talking Altogether

Communication is the lifeblood of any relationship, so when you and your spouse stop talking, you have a serious problem. There are many reasons why married couples cease talking, such as fear of starting a quarrel or a sense that your feelings will only be disregarded. Whatever the case, not communicating allows hurt feelings to fester, which can only lead to bigger problems.

You Fight Over the Same Things

Disagreements can be productive because they allow couples to air dissatisfactions, which is always the first step to finding a resolution. After all, you can’t solve a problem if you won’t acknowledge that there’s something wrong.

That being said, a lot of couples find themselves arguing about the same thing again and again, with seemingly no hope of arriving at a solution. In such cases, a marriage therapist in Orange County CA can help spouses identify the root cause of their conflict so they can come to an understanding and a compromise.

Your Sex Life Has Changed Drastically

A couple’s sex life is a good barometer of their relationship’s health—it’s a sneak peek into their level of intimacy. So when the sex starts drying up, it could signal that intimacy has started drying up, too. However, this isn’t always the case. Sometimes, if your spouse starts requesting for far more sex than usual, it could also mean that he or she is trying to compensate for frustrations or what may feel like limitations in the relationship.  This can also be where the roots of an affair begin to grow.

Like all things in life, marriage has its own natural ebb and flow.  There are circumstances and “seasons of life” you will face that are beyond your control. In a marriage, when couples are able to take these challenges as a team, can build your trust and respect for each other. However, if you find yourselves getting stuck with the challenges and unable to cope with the ups and downs, don’t hesitate to seek professional help from a trusted marriage counselor.

6 signs you need couples therapy.